I wrote this almost two years ago when my good friend was gone... I am posting it here to remember him and my feeling about how we live our lives. My half brother recently took his own life. We weren't close, but he was always a kind person whenever we would see each other. Celebrate your loved ones' lives by living yours to the fullest.
Published October 8th, 2008:
"I'm at an age where I have all the friends in my life that I need. My experiences have taught me who my friends/family really are and how to simply tune out the rest. By this, I don't go around and hate or mistreat others, but there are relationships that I kindly maintain and more importantly there are the relationships that I cherish. So one can understand how much my friends/family mean to me and why I would almost always choose to spend time with them rather than be anywhere else. The only unfortunate thing is that within the small circle of friends, everyone enjoys different things so we can't always all be together... because if we could, my life would be complete. I have been lucky enough to experience this on limited occasions and on those memorable days, I am grateful.
This week, my circle of friends has gotten smaller. I lost someone I cherish to an act of hatred that reflects the world that we live in. The reason why does not really matter to me because nothing will bring him back. What does matter is how it has affected those that knew him. Of course, there are those who hate him and those who love him. For those who hate him, they probably could not care less and their life goes on... that is, until they are affected by the loss of someone they love... at which point, they will then be in the following group, those who love him... those who love him will mourn the loss of a good brother/friend/son/father/lover... they'll remember all the good and bad times they had with my friend and it will affect them in such a way, that they hopefully, will improve their own lives and relationships to improve the world in which we all live. Then there will be those who love him and in the name of love, they will go out and enact their hatred towards those who killed him. Who knows? They might succeed and feel good about themselves... but wait... the loss of this person will restart the vicious cycle that was continued by the slaying of my friend. When does it end?
My point is this: Take this tragic event and use it as an opportunity to improve your kindness in the world. I'm confident that if we choose to be kind to those around us that we can promote harmony that will spread. Just think of 9/11 and the opportunity that was missed by that tragic event...
There's not much I want to say about my friend... those memories belong to our circle of friends. Just know that he always made us laugh, always slapped us on the back of our necks, he indiscriminately mooned everybody and took pictures of it at their expense and for his benefit, he was a big kid, and most importantly he himself was always smiling and laughing. I will miss my friend, Taine.
Please let his loss affect you positively... because I'm certain that's what he would want. Remember to be kind, it just may prevent something like this ever happening to someone else."
Thursday, August 12, 2010
I am officially a college graduate!!! I never thought I'd see the day, especially since I actually planned not to finish college. It's a long story, but basically, I wasn't interested, nor did I believe that having a college degree was necessary. I spent some years trying to run my own clothing company, then I worked full-time (again) where I had the good fortune of meeting Tom Trobaugh. He planted the idea that college wasn't just about some stupid degree, rather, it was an opportunity to learn new things and possibly about the world around me. Not only that, but it was a life lesson in gaining discipline, getting organized, having the determination to finish, and so much more. It was crazy how simple he made it seem compared to the way I viewed it before. I decided to take one class during a semester, then two, then three, then the big decision had to be made. After some time contemplating whether I should quit and pursue school full-time and an acting career, I decided to make the "big leap" (for others in the acting world, the big leap was to move to Los Angeles... but since I was born here...). After 3 memorable, stressful, long, short, life changing years... I graduated with a degree in Communication Studies and a minor in Theater. I can admit that I am a better person for it. I feel like I know so much more about the world around me... or at least I want to know more about the world around me. I am now an advocate for finishing school if you want to. I now look forward to pursuing my acting career and having finished college... I feel like I can do anything!